I'm in, wife's out

[trc2009]

I've had something interesting happen to me. I haven't had contact with my wife's family at all since the separation started three weeks ago. Even before then, none of them had an idea of what was going on.

On Friday when we agreed that she would start staying elsewhere on some nights so I could have time in the house with the kids, I go a text from my brother-in-law (her sisters husband) late that night to see how I was doing. It was good to hear from someone in her family. Obviously I told them I was doing okay but wasn't really happy about the situation we were in but I was hoping we could work it out, etc. etc.

THEN, I just got a text from my mother-in-law to see how I was doing. I told her pretty much the same stuff and that I appreciated her reaching out to me. Obviously I won't be texting or reaching out to any of them for the time being (not that I don't want to, but that's part of Sandi's 37 rules).

I'm really wondering if my wife is just now starting to tell them about what's REALLY going on. Not just that we're separated and we're "trying to work things out." If she didn't, she should have told them a LONG time ago. But my wife is also the type of person that wants EVERYONE to think that she's okay and she's as happy as she's ever been.

Anyway, it was good hearing from both. I've had a good relationship with my in-laws from the beginning (not to say that things have always been perfect), but being cut off completely has been surprisingly challenging for me.

Anyway, just some thoughts. But it's good a thing IMO because she's simply been relying on three people. #1 The dude that just got out of jail and is 3 States away. #2 The friend that is nice but has gone through three separations herself. And #3 The friend that was having an EA with a guy just last month and then realized the grass isn't always greener on the other side and is now working on things with her husband.

Not that I think any of them are "bad" people because that isn't the case at all. But she's at least talking to some people that aren't clear cut cases of enablers. Her family will always take her side through thick and thin which is why I'm staying at arms length. But I hope it's encouraging that she's at least clueing them into how things REALLY are. Not just what she wants them to know/hear.