Would she be willing to go to a Retrouvaille weekend with you? They are excellent at saving marriages at the "brink" that yours is at now.
You might want to use more PARAGRAPH BREAKS in your posts; that thing was darned near unreadable, lol.
Although you state "I know better now" a couple of times in your post, in other places it still sounds (to me, anyway) like you're making excuses for your past unfaithful behavior. Have you REALLY come to grips with how much pain you've caused your wife, and how wrong the affair and the deception were? If you have, there IS hope for you to, but it's going to be tough sledding, I won't kid you. You're going to have to convince your wife -- over much, much time -- that your remorse is real, and your changes are consistent and genuine. There's nothing you can do or say now to "fix" it, and as men we have a hard time with that, I know.
