Still Together & Trying To Work It Out!

[Azagtoth]

Just updating a bit:

Still working on me / GALing. Slowly turning my back yard into a personal archery range and loving my new hobby. D10 is having a blast with her new bow and has taken to it much quicker than I thought. About to get her involved in the local archery program and I will volunteer! Also getting back into my music / guitar playing; implementing a practice routine for improvement. All this is keeping me busy and allows wife to have space as needed at home.

Wife has commented on how good I am with D10; how loving/caring I am with her and she with me. I didn't have a very close relationship with S20 growing up, but I did have a good father son talk with him about everything over Christmas. He stated he has no hard feelings about anything; now that he is in the military, he can kind of understand my frame of mind at times. I told him I was here for him anytime he needed. He said he is glad we (wife & I) are working on ourselves/relationship; he doesn't want anything to happen to us (i.e. S or D). When wife heard this she let out a sigh of relief and said she is glad he feels that way.

Some things I have noticed:

- Wife and I are more supportive of each other when disciplining D10. I will not get in the way and let her handle it, but she is now more often to ask for my support when needed and I give it to her immediately and correct D10 if she is being disrespectful. Wife is doing the exact same thing...this has not happened in a while! She will be quick to tell D 10 "Do not speak to your father that way..." or if D10 blurts out something that could be hurtful (as little girls tend to do), wife will quickly tell her " You don't mean that..." or "don't say things like that....its hurtful to your dads feelings".

- Early on, just before entering MC/IC, we had a blowout and wife said we just needed to "sell the house" so we could both have our own place and space. Of course I refused this and explained we would not sell something we worked so hard for. She is typically a "nester'; always improving the home. This stopped for a while, but lately, all home improvement projects have started again. And....she asks my opinion and I give it. This is something I was always passive on and she hated it. Now I give my opinion and she appreciates it. I am currently installing a back splash and of the 3 - 4 tile choices she had; we settled on the one I picked as my favorite! I started installing this last weekend and, instead of nit-picking & "micro-managing" the project (which usually causes arguments), she let me work on it all day while she did laundry & other things. End result; nothing but compliments on my work and not one complaint!

- Wife wanted to start a consignment project with her close girlfriend. She asked what I thought (something she wouldn't normally do). I told her I thought it was a great idea and would combine something she likes to do with potential for extra cash on the side. I told her I would support her in anyway she needed! When she started to waiver on going to the start-up briefing; I gave her a little "push" to go ahead and go and told her I would adjust my schedule to support it if needed! She was so excited to to tell me everything, I pushed off my normal after work "routine" to sit and listen!

I know these are small things, but they really stand out for me! I am keeping my expectations low to zero, but things have been VERY amicable between us and I continue to support/validate her when needed and help around the house consistently. I see small signs of affection coming through that she initiates (snuggling up behind me when we go to bed, kiss/hug me when we part for the day, etc..). Baby steps but better than what it has been for sure!


Azagtoth