My ex came over today to visit s3. We joked around through texting on her way over. Probably a good 45 min of funny banter. She stopped by around 2 and hung out for a bit before heading home to pick up medicine for our sick boy. She came back then we headed out cuz I needed to check out some glasses. We both tried a bunch on and it was fun. I made an appointment because it was a holiday and no optometrists were in. Picked up some food then headed back to my place.
Made dinner again and watched some tv. We played with our son for a bit. Then she decided to look through some pictures I got developed not too long ago(the pics were still in the envelope and on a shelf). I told her there would be some she wouldn't like. In hindsight I should've said something positive like there are a few cute ones of us. Anyway I didn't think she would respond the way she did. She got really upset seeing the pics I took where we are all lovey dovey. She said I was manipulating her. I still have no idea how. She asked why I developed those pics and what was I going to do with them. I told her I developed them in response to the very hurtful thing she said to me a few weeks back. Basically I wanted a reminder that we did love each other(I didn't say that to her). Plus I wanted to acknowledge that those 7 months did exist. She back tracked and said she didn't say those hurtful things. I let that slide. She asked again why I did that and that it upsets her. She said a few contradicting things and hurtful things but I just reminded myself to never believe anything she says when she gets like this. I remained calm and offered to drop it. I made a mistake and it's done so lets talk about something else. She kept talking about it but I kept trying to disengage. Finally she relaxed and I could tell she was tearing up and upset. She said she hasn't felt like that in a while. I agreed.
We ended up playing with our son some more and talking peacefully again and joking around. We put our son down for bed and hung out a bit more. She ended going home around midnight. That's like 10 hours she spent with me.
I know people are gonna say stop hanging out with her. I know for a fact she doesn't want to reconcile. I still enjoy family time though. Plus she was the one that stayed that long. It's not like I was pursuing. She left when she wanted to. I just went along for the ride with no expectations. I'm faking it til I make it. Trying to be happy and upbeat. Being a wedge as a byproduct I'm ok with as well.
I know the road to a reconciliation is a long one. It usually happens when you are already detached. Once I'm able to start really dating that's detachment for me. Is there still hope while dating? Sure I guess. No one knows the future.
There was a lot of déjà vu going on tonight. I really can't believe how similar this sitch is compared to last time. My brother even reminded me of it. It's different in the sense things are happening faster and there are more "positives" and less "negatives".
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
