Hello new here so let me introduce myself.
My wife walked out WAW on 1/26/14, 2/10/14 moving into an apartment. She tells me our marriage is a charade. She says she needs to reevaluate our relationship. She says that she doesn’t want a divorce and will have to see where this goes. I love with you, but I am not in love with you. I am beginning the process of working to be a better person and GAL. She has been very angry, and then she disengaged with me the last year. I crawled in hole and stayed there. It seemed at the time better than engaging as it was better than arguing about things I had done and said I was sorry for. We have been married 21 years and we have had our ups and downs. I am 52 years old and she is 51. We have a 15 year old daughter who is here at home with me. So far she has not suggested taking our daughter with her just that oure daughter should not have to suffer for our transgressions. So I am beginning the work on me efforts. We do talk and she is totally straightforward that she thinks we are not good for each other, that I am emotionally unavailable and unable to love. She has unplugged from the marriage and says she is responsible for her portion of how this came about as well. I am beginning to deal with this emotionally although it’s hard not to slip back into depressed state even though I have worked at accepting the divorce is eminent and to let go! That is the hardest part as I do love her dearly. My questions are many but I’ll let you folks provide any advice you can provide.
I tried being friendly and rational and disinterested and that does help, however I had a hard time when she moved temporarily to her friends for two weeks until the apartment became available. It was tough seeing her so I asked for some time and separation. It just tears me up emotionally to see her. I am trying to act as rationally and disinterested as possible in aftermath of the split. I have talked to her about counseling and she is not opposed to it. I don’t want to push though and wonder when I should ask her to go to counseling. I can wait until she is ready.I work and caring for our daughter, cleaning the house and all the other chores take time. I am reading Divorce Remedy and am going to read and re-read. Time is a precious commodity and I want to make sure our daughter is not neglected so I spend any time I have with her just being there and doing fun things or whatever she wants. I have also just tried to get my mind off this a bit and have tried just to give myself some space from it so it doesn’t consume me.
By the way Sandi2's 37 Rules are great! I am trying to follow!
Thanks