Rise & Shine V

[paul19510]

3, I think that your H (and mine) can't allow himself to understand how much he has hurt you - because then he wouldn't be able to do what he is doing. Our Hs are very similar in some ways, I think. They each have a fantasy in their heads of how this is all going to go down (obviously in a way that suits them and where they don't need to feel any guilt and can still think they are awesome and everything is fine), and they get mad when something happens and they can't make it fit their plan.

My H is fond of saying things to give himself evidence that he was right to leave . . . like, "it's just like when we were married, we just don't understand each other," or, "it's just part of your personality, it's who you are." When we had a talk before he moved out, about how things were going to work and what he was going to take, I agreed with his plan for seeing the kids, I told him he could take whatever he wanted from the house, and agreed with everything else he said. Until he said he wanted to take the cat. I said no. And you know what I got? "It's just like always, I can't win an argument with you. You always have to get your way."

My W does the same stuff. its not just men. although I do think that a WAS that is a W is somewhat different. I just can't quantify or explain why yet

I know when I left 5 years ago (albeit for only 2 weeks) I had a sense of purpose when I came home. People needed me. I don't see my W doing that. we are all moving forward with or without her and she seems to be just fine with that.

she's parked across the street tonight again. didn't come into the house to say hi to the kids that were away with me. She never came by to see D16 during the 4 days I was gone. She only texted her to ask "would you like me to sleep over...?"

If I were on the other side of this and I was, I'd be trying to get time to see them...I don't know...just adding in I guess .