Hi Gogofo I wanted to do respond to you as your situation reminds me a lot of my own. My WAW left in December 2012 though, so I’ve had more time.
I think you’re facing this very well and seeking support from a healthy place. Keep doing that. I haven't written much on this site, but I’ve read it a lot and am inspired and helped by the messages of the vets. I’m very grateful that people like 25, MrBond, Labug and Sandi2 exist in this world and are so generous.
In response to your last post: - There is always hope. I can’t think of any situation that is hopeless. Holding on to hope isn’t wrong and, even if we don’t get what we think we want, I don’t believe it’s desirable to work towards being cynical or dismissive of hopefulness. So we work because we are hopeful and we trust in positive thinking. - A great revelation for people who like to control things is that while we can’t control other people we can control how we respond to any situation presented to us & it’s best (including for us) to respond constructively and with love/kindness. I see this akin to physical fitness and like going for a run, it takes time to get fitter & you can allow yourself to be lazy and regress too. A patient response is very difficult, but so are most virtues. I don’t think it’s even patience if you get things when you want them. Training for a marathon takes work. So does building mental attitude fitness. - I really relate to the 'fully committed' approach you have. It can be a source of great success. You seem to be a highly diligent and committed person & that’s attractive (so I’m told). The darkside is can also become ‘cultish’ and the source of many problems, especially a loss of perspective of the “bigger picture”/awareness of alternative points of view or the fact that we don’t have perfect information. I’ve found that while I want to continue to be a committed person, I want to ensure that's coupled with being able to moderate myself for my own happiness and any future partner (hopefully my WAW). We don’t have complete information about how or what our WAW is thinking or feeling and we need to respect their journey and decisions, including the pace of those. Good things take time. It’s so easy to forget that when so much in modern life encourages compulsive behaviour. - Don’t be too hard on yourself; or too serious. You’re doing well in an extremely difficult situation. Keep smiling!
