My thought is to approach your W and reiterate how wonderful HVD was for you two. Be specific in how and why you appreciated it. For example, 'I liked how you picked out the dinner as you thought about our tastes and listened to my preferences. It shows that we work well together when we really communicate with each other.' The sandwich approach...positive, negative, and positive. You get the idea.
When setting a boundary, it requires the following:
-Clearly identifying the 'problem' -Clearly outline why it is a 'problem' -Clearly identifying the action to correct the 'problem' -Clearly state the impact of not correcting the 'problem' -Clearly state the importance of this on you and the M
Let's work together on this right here. How would you frame it with W using the above four criteria in boundary setting? How would that look to you?
I am not saying that you MUST to this tonight. I think it is important for you to work through this so you're at a place of strength and calm when you do actually initiate the convo with W on this. What do you think about this approach? If you have other ideas, then put 'em out here.
