She left - My Story, First Post

[gogofo]

I need to keep reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. This even applies to my emotions and working through them.

Even though I have made progress in my detachment, I still have a ways to go. When I talk and think about our situation I continue to believe that she will be back.

Is holding onto hope like this something I need to work through?

I assume that I should not be thinking/feeling this about our marriage because I cannot control the W and I should not be reading into her feelings.

I think I am telling myself a lie when I feel this hope for us. I have noticed even around the house certain things I won't change because I keep thinking "she will be back". These are just minor things.

Who is to know if the W will want to work on our M. I need to lovingly detach so I will be okay with me and my feelings regardless of the outcome from our S.

When reviewing my thread and the book I noticed that most of my 180s are all focused on fixing me to fix relationship issues. I need to work on fixing me to fix me, not just to try and repair the M.

Can there be an issue of working too hard on things? I get overly committed and involved in things I care about. I think I keep reading and working so hard that I am replacing my commitment at work with my commitment to work on me saving my M.

I need to 180 this and realize I cannot control the pace of progress. Unfortunately even though I know it is not the truth; I feel like every decision I make is life or death and that I need to be working on this constantly.

I need to learn to accept failures and setbacks and understand that I am not perfect, no one is.