This process is slow going, it took me a long time, it took k_g a long time, some of it is just time.
But at some point we both (and I think I can say this is true for k_g, too) had to stop fighting and accept that we could control only ourselves. Changing perspective is so helpful. Allowing that his POV is just as real to him as ours is to us. Letting go of the need to be right.
Take control of your life. When he does something that you deem hurtful, takes some deep breaths, step back and observe.
You can think "Hmmm, that seems interesting, or silly, or crazy, or not well thought out, or downright untrue, BUT (a good place for a but) I don't have to join in. I can just stand here on the sidelines and watch."
Really do take some time to just be.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
