[Notlikingthis]

I completely agree with the notion why to pursue someone who doesn’t want you. I left my H alone to go on his journey, I never begged him to come back home and reconsider. But, deep in my heart I still have hope that one day he will realize what we had together was the best thing. This hope is hard to let go. I am actually almost 100% sure that this what is going to happen. He is still searching for his “perfect” mate with no success so far. One reason is that it is so hard to match with what he is used to with me, in spite of some disagreements we had. He might find somebody who will like him the way he is now, but it will not be good enough for him.

This pretty well sums up how I feel too, Bright. It's difficult to imagine that my h will one day be a whole person again but I haven't given up hope. After being with our h's for so many years it's painful to watch them suffering no matter what the cause or reason. To me it's no different than having a serious physical illness. It's been hard to let him go.

I see you becoming stronger and more detached as I read through your recent posts. Yes, we all have that affliction. Trying to second guess and analyze motives, behavior and conversations is something I struggle with often. Keep your focus on yourself and ignore what well meaning friends and relative advise you to do. The friends that we have on this forum are a much better source information and advice.

As for someone else liking them for who they are now, they can have them the way they are now! We want a better version of the person that they were prior to the beginning of their journey.