[BrightFuture]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

Busting, I think you are right that he knew where he sending the package to. Maybe he is not trying to avoid me anymore and just the opposite, trying to see if I’m still there.

FY, I don’t think I actually feel like a doormat. I just do nice things for people when I feel like it, including H, even though he hurt me. It is other people’s opinions that make me doubt myself. Like my friends and family get angry at me for doing things for H. They think that I should just tell to get lost and take care of his sh!t himself. I do stand for myself when I need to.

You are actually right, and do think about every word, e-mail, etc. when it comes to communicating with H. I do need to be more brave and express my feelings more openly. I’ve come a long way to do it with my friends and family and other people, but I seems to still not be able to do it with H. This might be the key to my final detachment. And at this point, who cares how I come across to him. He already rejected me, so I can be who I am without worrying how he preserves me. After all, I’m not trying to win him back by being fake. If he doesn’t like me the way I am, it is his problem. Thanks for the advice.

NewOutlook, thanks for telling me about the new book by Louise Hay. I’m signed up on her website, but I didn’t know about the new book. I was still going through all other info in there, and there is a lot. These are very powerful thoughts that you quoted from her book. I’m slowly learning how to let go of the outcome in any situation. Some days I feel very strongly that I can do it, and some days I slip back to my old thinking patterns.

I’m still trying to get used to some of the info out there. I was raised in a non-religious society and non-religious family, so sometimes the mention of God just throws me off. But, I have a degree in science and studied the quantum physics, so this part actually makes a lot of sense to me. I also believe in karma.

I completely agree with the notion why to pursue someone who doesn’t want you. I left my H alone to go on his journey, I never begged him to come back home and reconsider. But, deep in my heart I still have hope that one day he will realize what we had together was the best thing. This hope is hard to let go. I am actually almost 100% sure that this what is going to happen. He is still searching for his “perfect” mate with no success so far. One reason is that it is so hard to match with what he is used to with me, in spite of some disagreements we had. He might find somebody who will like him the way he is now, but it will not be good enough for him. This is not just my opinion, this is also our friends’ and my relatives’ opinion too.

Oh well, I’m learning to let it go and trust the universe to take care of things in exactly the time they are supposed to happen.

Still no word from H about the package. I think he hasn’t opened his e-mails yet.