Been a strange week. Picked up a stomach flu bug while I was away, and whilst it didn't lay my up I felt very "off" for over a week.
My ex has also been inhabiting my dreams again on a regular basis. Which I don't like. I just don't seem to be able to eliminate him from my life. Every time it seems like we are taking the final steps fate steps in and prevents it. it has left me feeling very frustrated.
Whilst I am not unhappy, there are things in my life that are not as I want them. And I blame him for this. Wrongly, probably, but even so I just have this nagging feeling inside that keeps saying "after all of my time, effort, hard work, devotion etc etc this is all you are left with..."
I rent a property from my young sister. My mother keeps asking me if I need money. I still don't have a job. My friends seem to have it all (I know appearances can be deceptive) but this is really bugging me. I just cannot see past this moment, and while taking things one day at a time has many benefits I just want something to look forward to. I cannot even imagine a time when there maybe a man in my life. Life seems devoid of feelings right now - of any kind!
