Life's a Picnic

[willbwell]

thank you keepgoing for your posts. It gives me much to think about as well.

Busting,I think we do make the bast of our current sits. We are up everyday doing for our children. When we can, we do for ourselves too. Painful it is,but We are not wallowing in pain. We know our joys.

I had been contemplating recently, did I make it all up in my head? no, there were good and great things about h. It was not a fantasy,not all of it. Has he been the best h or father? no.
But really I did think we had a pretty good thing. I think the kids and I are still a pretty good thing.

I can see too how I would like to 'control' the situation. However, in reality, I have so little control. I would LOVE, for h to take on, that responsibility. To see the impact of his choices on his kids. He doesn't want to see it.
You know, I can, may, someday, 'move on' to another R. My children will never 'move on' to having another dad. Their father is not dead. Can't act 'as if'... He lives two miles away. They have to sadly deal with knowing their dad choses something else.be the best mom I can be. yep, it is what I am doing, but will it ever take that pain and sadness away? How does one tell a 17 yr ols boy, well you better ask God?

I too have operated under the same MO. I hAve kept the door open for h. I can't seem to cut that tie.
Sometimes, I have to even remind myself, this man has been so disrespectful to me, to the children. why should I be pleasant to him? but, he comes over and pleasant I am.

Thanks guys for sharing. For allowing me to share.