melissa - gotta get back to me

[dxw689]

Melissag: I have just found your thread and I just want to say that I cannot believe how similar our situations are - right down to the timing, as BD and move out of our husbands are within a month of each other. You are doing great and feeling the same things I am - and you are right to feel that way. The advice you are getting is outstanding and I just want to add my support. Your husband is verbalizing the EXACT feelings I am seeing from my husband - that they feel somehow they were mis-treated/unappreciated by us and that now they are entitled to this wack behavior. I don't know how their empathy buttons got so broken. It is hard not to feel that somehow we must have contributed to that. But we both have done our best to rectify our role in the breakdown of the relationship once we knew about it - again, another similarity: I also thought my divorcebusting was working and then - bam - he told me nothing had changed and moved out and progressed to open relationship with other woman in front of and together with my kids. But you are strong. An interesting person. A wonderful woman. Thank you for sharing your situation and know that it is getting better, with the support of us all going through this together. You are behaving in a way that is admirable and right. Love and enjoy your kids and become more of you... I love the advice to post something about yourself that is not a reaction to your husband. We will come out the other end better - Byron Katie has some good advice to view that all of this is not happening TO you, it is happening FOR you - how? That is the challenge - to step back and figure out HOW to see this as happening FOR you - name 3 things that are better since your husband moved out - could be trivial, like his shoes are not in your way in the closet - but it slowly starts to change your perspective.