Hi Everyone. Hope today wasn't too painful for everyone. My H never went out of his way to plan anything special for Valentines Day (or any holiday/ birthday) for that matter so I was not missing much.
I had an awesome date tonight ... with S3 and S5. I told them we were going to a fancy dinner. They insisted on wearing ties. Wish I could share a pic of my cuties. We had a great time. I am so grateful to have them in my life. I am not sure what I would do without them.
H left on his business trip (OW is other too..yuck). I was determined to leave things on a good note before he left. We got over a foot of snow yesterday so everything was shut down. H came over to shovel us out in the morning. I normally would do it myself but I could not have done it with all three kids. He spent the day at the house enjoying time with the boys. In the afternoon, we all headed out to go sledding. We had an absolute blast. H and I even got into a snowball fight and just laughed our butts off. It felt good to just let go and have fun and not worry about anything. The day honestly could not have gone better. H even said that he had a great time as he was leaving. Last time H left on a business trip I was a basket of tears freaking out about OW (definitely not attractive at all).
I still have to respond to some posts and will do that tomorrow when I have some more energy. At least we can say that another crappy holiday is behind us!!
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
I want to take back MY life ... and I am starting today. For so long, I have given H and the sitch too much space in my head. I have been GAL and keeping busy, but I have been living in a fog most of the time. I also have a lot on my plate with work and the kids and all of other demands in life. Before I get fired, I seriously need to start paying more attention at work. I also felt like I have been putting off stuff around the house.
Today, I cleaned out and organized every cabinet and closet in the house except for the kids closets. I cleaned our home office and organized every bill for the 2013 and input the information into a spreadsheet for our taxes. It was good to look through the information in light of our S. At least I know where everything is. I bought a hanging rack for the kids' bikes to install in the garage. I will get that up tomorrow. I went through my closet and now have two huge bags of clothes that no longer fit that I plan to donate.
My parents are coming over tomorrow to watch the kids. I am going to organize our unfinished basement area that is filed with baby stuff, tubs of the boys clothes and everything else you can imagine. We literally have just been shoving everything into the room and you can no longer get into it. I will also clean out the kids closets and organize the hand-me-downs and get everything stored in the proper tubs in the basement. I will install the bike rack in the garage and steam clean the family room carpet.
On Monday, the kids and I will do something fun together and relax!!
I feel a little more like myself each day. When I was cleaning up, I found myself putting H's stuff away in places that he could find it when he finally moved out as opposed to thinking about him moving back in. I guess that maybe my brain is finally realizing that this may be permanent. I guess after 7 months it was time
I feel so accomplished. I don't want to feel like I am floundering anymore. I don't want to continue to let my H and his decisions negatively impact my life anymore than they have to.
Hopefully I will be just as productive at work this week and catch up. It would be a huge relief to have the house and all my work stuff organized.
3bm. This is vreat to hear. 25 noted to me earlier that I'm still enmeshed and need to let go. You are doing a fine job of thst today. Congrats. We just finished dinner at Friday's and the kids went off to find friends in tbe hotel. I am having a beer and relaxing whatcing some hockey. Baby steps.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
3boyz, I think we could be fine friends IRL. How amazing is the feeling of having everything neat and organized? Also, I LOVE hauling away bags of stuff to Goodwill and the dumpster.
I am glad I read your thread tonight because I need to get some organizing done in my house. And I have been putting it off because it's so emotionally difficult. Every item I pick up I think, "this was from before BD, back when we were still a family," or, "I wore this shirt when H and I went to [fill in the blank for any item in my closet]."
But maybe that's just what I needed - an anthem. The "I'm going to take back my life" anthem. I think I will look at it from that perceptive and just get it done tomorrow. The basement is going to be a big job, but I think I will move all of H's remaining stuff into boxes and put them in one area so he can get them easily. I am also going to take over his closet so I can have more space for my stuff.
I'm glad you had a great day, and thanks for the inspiration!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Nothing is as cathartic as a good cleaning! Yes, it sounds like you are living "as if" and doing a great job. Enjoy the rest of your weekend:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Wow I am seriously impressed with how much you got done. For weeks I have been telling my therapist I was going to declutter physically so I could then declutter mentally. I have gotten through half a room. You put me to shame. Haha. Bet you feel great. Enjoy your fun day with the boys.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Agreed! Cleaning today, too. My H even helped out today...since when does he vacuum? Oh well, I'll take it.
Keep doing things for you, 3!
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
Today was a complete success. I spent twelve straight hours working on the house. I only stopped once to head to Target to get more storage tubs. The unfinished basement has been completely cleaned out. Everything is bin it place on the shelves. You can actually walk all around without stepping over stuff. I just need to give a pile of baby things to my SIL and another pile of photography equipment to give to another friend.
I went through all of the kids clothes from newborn up. I have bags of clothes to donate. The rest are all organized in tubs and put away. I even got a big tub with all of their summer clothes ready to be pulled out in the spring. Their vlosets are all cleaned out and organized too.
I did not get to hang the rack in the garage but will so that tomorrow. I had to spend a portion of my day trying to fix my dryer because I did not realize one of the kids had crayons in their pockets and it nearly destroyed the dryer and all the clothes in it. Always exciting with kids!
My parents where a huge help. I am so blessed! I did come across a few things that brought back memories. When we moved into the house, we out aside some keepsake tubs in our basement for special momentous (my wedding dress, ring pillow from the wedding, photo albums from college) but I just kept moving. I added some new things (kids baptism outfit and candles) and moved on to another task.
I have a huge pile of things to head to the dump and another pile to donate. I will take care of that in the morning and then tackle the garage. It feels great to have the house in order. I feel like if my house is in order maybe I can get my brain in order too. I may need to treat myself to a massage next weekend when H is back in town because my body does not like me at the moment.
