25ymlc, thanks for continuing to help others after your M has been restored. You are a gem to those of us who are just starting down this confusing path. Thanks for taking our hands.
x1,000.
Blues, I think you are doing really, really well. I might even say that I think that your H moving out has been a good thing for you.
I do want to let you know that having certainty doesn't feel any better than limbo. In fact, when I was in limbo (or thought I was in limbo), I had the time to try to detach, figure myself out, and slowly try to build a new life for myself, but with the (perhaps false) safety net of still being M and having hope. Now, I am just a spiraling mess again - BUT, I will say that what I accomplished in the few months of limbo that I had has helped me TREMENDOUSLY. (I know, it doesn't seem like it, but I am really FAR better off emotionally than I was 4 months ago.) Personally, I think that this is one case where getting in the icy water gradually is better than just jumping right in.
Don't worry now about when you will be ready to call it quits if your H doesn't shape up. Just keep moving forward and doing your thing. If you do get to the point where you are done, I think you will know it.
I think it's great that you have chosen to be happy . . . that's huge. Also, I love the smiling! I realized recently that while I talk to people in a chipper voice (like a cashier at the store, for example), I don't smile that much! Tonight I smiled at every random person I saw at Whole Foods and at yoga. Some of them looked at me like I was creepy but most of them smiled back. And . . . I remembered that one day a few weeks ago I was at Whole Foods, having a terrible, terrible day, and this woman caught my eye and gave me a big, broad smile. It seriously made my day, and I thought, "wow, it was like she somehow just knew that I needed that today." So, hey, even if many people think I am weird, how cool would it be to smile at that person who really needed it?
Quote:
I know he's incredibly unhappy, but chooses his empty life over the restoration of his family.
I don't have any idea how anyone can ever understand this. It makes no sense. Please just remember this has nothing to do with you.
I'm sorry if I missed it, but where is your H staying now?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
