I wouldn't recommend this to newbies.. but I would really sit with this thought.
"What is best for RT right now and how can I show W this in a loving way?"
Boundaries ain't easy...however they are easier after you have created the loving/safe space that the other person can see that you are NOT trying to hurt them or have stopped loving them.
I recently set a boundary with a friend and although it is painful for the both of us... we both know that it is indeed loving at this time. She knows that I'm not trying to hurt her because I have been consistently showing her that I care for her for over a year.
Now that may change and she may become completely angry with me over time or refuse to deal with her sh!t.. so we will see what happens there.
Regardless I had to get to a mental place knowing that the boundary was the ONLY option and I had done everything I could before that. I also had to be willing to accept whatever the consequence of my setting that boundary is.
So whilst I completely agree with Wonka that strong boundaries need to be set.. and soon... I'm also curious if you have done everything you can? And are you also prepared to set the boundary - regardless of consequence? If not... how do you get there?
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
