You won't get much traffic here. ARe you still talking with a DB coach?

Are you and H in some kind of counseling? That's where I would start.

What are you doing to increase your emotional intimacy with H?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss