Melissa, I was shaking when I first started setting boundaries with my H. It all came back to me as I was reading. I've faced down raging professional but didn't want set a limit with my H, who had moved out. Crazy, isn't it?

Did you thank H for taking down the profile? Did you thank him for the text, not effusively just, thanks, I appreciate that.

Is saying thanks a 180 for you? It was for me.

How would this have gone when the 2 of you were still together? I can say for me, I never thanked my H for doing things that I felt were expected or part of the normal business of the household. You have your job, you do it. Did you get thanked or praised for doing "expected" things as a child? Chores, good grades, etc.

Saying thanks is not engaging him.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss