Thank you bright. You are so right about the expectations .,so right. And you are right - I do want. To be the best dad for them too. He is not ready to be that man. I need to be my absolute best for the kids. I can't so that when I let my heart be heavy.
I know part of my current struggle is also that I am lonely. Day in and day out over the years raising the kids, growing from this sitch , and no one to share my life with, to support my kids with, it's hitting me harder these days. I very been making an effort to see friends when I can to counter the feelings. But sometimes , you know, I just want someone to watch tv with. I feel that is so far away.
My D6- she was doing a little better but she has problems with h still. She won't talk to him (if/when) he calls and she looks at other moms and dads in wonder. I so badly want to show her what a healthy relationship can look like in a marriage. I want her to know what it's like to have a father ( figure?) that loves his family first.
On another note- we went to a school fair yesterday and S9 won me a stuffed heart for valentines day. So sweet.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
