own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[makingmagic]

Yep, we both bonded with the mediator. I agree, she said things that I wanted to hear, but he backed them up... as well. Her job was to mediate finances, but decided to mediate a relationship at the same time. She would not have taken that position if her one on one time with him, didn't make her feel like she shouldn't.

The deal for consideration is:

1) business division (40% share in equity for me, until more can be determined)
2) H and I to match dollar for dollar and purchase a home (offering me security) and him financial security from me "reaching for his share in the house"... a co habitation agreement.

or

3) separation agreement ... this will include me "reaching" for more of a share in the house that I made a home in, as well.

WITHOUT Doubt... I know he loves and misses me, very much. He is very afraid to make an emotion/physical connection with me fearing he will not be able to make a decision with his head. This is why he wants to make an agreement and then put the financial agreement aside and attempt reconciliation. I would NEVER force this issue. AND.. I value myself to not *settle* for less than a commitment of some kind (and not just a business commitment). I am wanting marriage, but might be ok with co-habitation in a mutual home. Still thinking of this.

HE needs to realize that he wants me. I will not settle and be with him in any what until I hear he has made a decision.... I may appear "waiting" but I am not giving myself away. I am not jumping all over this. I am in the back, but still going out and GAL. I don't know what other options I have at this point.

The mediator wrote us a letter the next day, suggesting i share it with h. It was a very long letter outlining our options. I asked him today if he received it yesterday. He said he started to read it this morning.

Without a court appearance proving my position and constructive trust... I am likely NOT entitled to anything in that house. However, if I can prove it (very good case, 20years), then I am entitled to something. I have spoke to a lawyer... but I am not willing to waste money going to court. Its crazy!!

It seems difficult and poor timing now to take a stance when Reconcilliation is on the table (finally)... I would hate to blow it all out of proportion. Which is why the co-habitation agreement was designed by the mediator. She saw all kinds of emotion from him.


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The part that I don't like: after 20 years of loving/knowing/foundation/emotional & deep intimacy (that he agrees with 100%) .... why does he need to "think"... and take his time doing so? its soooo obvious to me, 20 years is WORTH another chance in my books. ... and while he is "thinking" it feels like more rejection.... my nose is out of joint at times...