Arrrgh! This is one of those fits and starts in the piecing process. It only takes one thing for XOW to contact W and off they go on text o rama.
xAP giving my W love and sending her on her journey and hopes she can find her way to make the changes to be who she wants to be.... And if my W can never find the strength to break free from whatever it is that is holding her there (with me) that , well then she hopes my W can make the best of where she's at.
Then she included some love poem about henna rings and how they are bound to one another in their hearts.(which my W admits they got henna rings at a party once and it did have a significance to them) Maybe they will find a way to be together in this life and if not, then maybe in another. Oh... and she loves my W.
Chit! This is one way that the XOW will to do suck back W emotionally by playing on their emotions based on the things they did during the A. It brought back memories of my most recent XGF, not Ms. Wonka. When I look back, I realize that it took me a while to get to the place of where I was completely over XGF. Untangling oneself from the XOW, especially if they've been friends for over 20 years, is a messy and confusing process.
My suggestion is to focus on HVD and let this marinate in your heads for some time before taking any action. Since W has been back home in October, I would think you might want to bring up a strong NC convo with W and state your boundary. To me, I think W does need to make a clean break with the XOW once and for all. Otherwise, W will continually be sucked back in XOW's sphere when she brings up some long ago memory of their A.
You'll need move a bit further in order to arrive at a place to be able to do this emotionally instead of feeling raw and tender. Give this time. I would urge you to ask that W attend a solution-oriented, Gottman based MC therapy for I think you two are wobbly and need some professional help in recovering from the A.
I am so sorry that all of this happened....sort of like mini-bombs going off here and there.
I hope tonight's movie is something that you both will enjoy! HVD to you!
