Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[dingo]

Hi everyone - just wanted to post a quick update of the week's events.

My wife has seen her counselor twice this week and seems to really like her. She recommended that we both read a book called Conscious Loving - which my wife has started and I have purchased but not yet gotten into. During her last session, her counselor introduced her to some meditation exercises to try to calm her emotions, stress and all the thoughts regarding the situation that are going through her head. She has also identified some aspects of my wife's behavior that contribute to her co-dependency issues. The few that she mentioned to me were the fact that she never felt like she got enough attention as a child and so is emotionally needy and the fact that she has a tendency to make jokes when she feels uncomfortable or is confronted with something she doesn't like, thus not really letting people know what she is really feeling.

We had our Valentine's Day dinner on Wednesday. She didn't really want to celebrate the actual day because of everything that's happening so we did it early. She selected the restaurant where we have gone for both of our anniversaries and we had a really nice time. A lot of good conversation and laughing/joking,etc - there seemed to be absolutely zero tension.

After a day of NC (yesterday) I called her this morning to see if she wanted to get coffee. She is helping a friend move today and tomorrow and I at least wanted to see her on V-day (too much pursuit?). She agreed and we met up before work. This meeting was a little different. It wasn't overly tense but I did sense that she was a little bit more standoffish than she was on Wednesday. We BS'd for about 20 minutes or so, agreed to get together on Sunday and then went our separate ways.

We didn't really discuss much about the R during our last two 'dates' and I don't think we should on Sunday either. I do sense a bit of the push-pull thing but its not near as dramatic as before - at least not at this time.

So I am a bit unsure of what I should be doing with respect to her. She is definitely not committed to the marriage yet. She is still looking for 'what is going to make her happy' and says her focus is on her not on us. I understand that's where it needs to be and that its the first step. With respect to the OM - he is out of the picture according to her and they are not hanging out. I don't really ask anything about him anymore so I have no other information than that. She has said that she would consider dating him if we end up not working out. To me that's not really 'hes out of the picture' but i don't really know what to expect.

So beyond not pursuing, am I at a spot where I should be letting her come to me or should I be in back of more of a dim/dark mode? Its very confusing - i think for me sometimes that I do a lot better when I don't contact her.