She left - My Story, First Post

[gogofo]

Hopeful

Thanks for the response. When describe the journey she needs to take emotionally it makes sense. I even smiled at the stats that WAW return back to M more than WAH.

I assume that I need to detach so that her emotions don't take me on a ride. If detached I can still love her and allow her to make decisions that she needs to without it effecting me.

Kind of like loving a family member with addiction issues, I have a brother who has struggled with this. I love him but do not allow his decisions to change my life. I am happy for him when he is doing good but do not allow his highs and lows to change my life.

Love Bank, was that a John Gray concept or MWD from DR? I get my books and concepts confused, but yes I know the concept and will review it multiple times to commit it to memory.

As far as her emotional needs? She needs to feel loved, respected, accepted, like she is her own unique self. She was the giver in the relationship and I was the taker. I need to remain patient and find the opportunities to make deposits in these areas. Our communication needs to open up more, but I will wait.

This is just the start, I am going to read the 5 Love Languages to see what else I can come up with as far as emotional needs.

What can I do to meet them? Support her and the decisions she wants to make. STFU and listen if she starts to open up to me. I also need to explore more ways to meet her needs.

She has planned on taking more furniture to her place and I just held my tongue and said "Okay". Yesterday she also emailed me about a work trip to Canada in June. My response was genuine in that I was happy she was getting some benefit out of her extra effort at work and that "Banff is supposed to be pretty".