Yes, your wife is detached from you - it's a self protection mechanism for her heart. To be frank, she doesn't even like you very much right now. Could you imagine someone you don't like, and aren't remotely attracted to, asking you for dates and explanations of your feelings? It would repulse you even more.
^^^THIS!^^^ LBS's make a HUGE mistake when they assume that after BD they should really turn on the charm and pursuit, they think it's a 180 because it wasn't happening before BD. While it may indeed be a 180, it is a 180 that will backfire in spectacular fashion for the very reasons Hopeful stated. The WAS is in a totally different frame of mind than the LBS. This is why we say DB'ing is counterintuitive, our mind is telling us to pursue but the more we pursue the more repulsed the WAS becomes. It makes us look needy and desperate, and no one finds that attractive.
