Melissa, great, GREAT discussion on your thread. And to echo what the others have said here, you really have had a lot on your plate in 6 months and done a lot of work - and anyone would be a little woozy on this roller coaster. Mine was a much longer term aggravation - like being stuck at the top of a ferris wheel for 2 hours, and while neither one of them is a good time, you deserve some kudos for seeking balance while your boat is rocking in turbulent waters. Add the fact that you don't trust your boat, well... hugs for you.
I find it admirable that you and Bug are the family historians. In fact, as someone like your H's, I'll say thank you for taking the job. I am a lousy photographer and I absolutely hate trying to capture moments. My XH was the one who dragged the video camera around, so I have lots of movies. But photos are kind of a mix of both of us. I have always known I could do better. Then when D19 started high school and made the varsity team her freshman year and saw the albums on display at the banquet, I *knew* what she was going to say. In fact, it was a matter of time, and I felt sick to my stomach. We had barely walked out of the venue when she turned to ME (not her Dad, ME) and said, "I'm going to ask for something that I really, REALLY want you to give me. I'd like for you to start taking pictures of me. I want a volleyball album like that when I'm a senior." I remember telling her that giving her a kidney would be easier.
I have family members from my family of origin who are avid photographers of capturing family moments. I LOVE looking at them. But I hate the fact that they are busy trying to capture moments and not living in them. Somehow, I think it sort of migrates into unspoken agreements and both parties find it disturbing, and then it moves into the mutual resentment category. I love looking at photos, but they just don't mean as much to me as they do to others.
So getting back to you and your H using those photos on his match profile. What do you have to lose by letting him know that you know about it and are hurt by him using those photos? If you cry, maybe he *should* see that you aren't okay with this whole thing? Of course, if he's the kind of guy who chastises you for crying, maybe not.
You should definitely date yourself this weekend! That's the ultimate act of self care, and you'll be happier for it. Hell, I might even buy myself a valentine and go all out.
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
