I think you need to be a lot less trusting. You immediately bonded with the mediator, she says things you like to hear, emotional things, and her job is nothing more than to get you and H to agree on a deal.
I would be very concerned about an agreement that includes cohabiting or reconciliation. I've been married for many years to someone who didn't really want to be married to me, and I've cohabited for a year and a half with someone who wanted to be gone. I thought if we just lived together he'd see how much better I was, he'd see how much easier it is being together than apart, blah blah blah. You can't make someone love you out of proximity, and it is sheer torture to live with someone who doesn't cherish you.
Understand: His financial interests are most protected if you go away with nothing. Divide up your stuff in an *equitable* way and stop talking about protecting him or conditioning the deal on an emotion that can change on a dime.
Many of us were married for the 20 years you were cohabiting. If our husband said we were less deserving because we weren't contributing, the law would disagree. I can tell you, that is what my husband has said. While I was raising our kids and cooking his meals, and working, he has told me he was *subsidizing me* all along and thinks I have already gotten what I deserved by that. I believe the law sees it differently.
Get the most *equitable* and *fair* deal you can get and PLEASE stop connecting it with if you get back together or not. You can get back together with 50% of his assets JUST AS EASILY as you can get back together with 30%.
When do you go back for more mediation? Would you consider seeing a lawyer in between, so you know what you should really be entitled to?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
