And that is the stance she will take to shift blame on you and justify. Stand up big guy. Nice job. Just avoid confrontation and do not engage any further. Narcissists shift blame. In fact, they spew accusations and insults that are in fact things they do and act like. It is interesting. Look up histrionic personality disorder (hpd) and narcissistic personality disorder (nod) and borderline personality disorder (bpd). Bet there are things that make you go 'wow!'. Anyway, she may not be clinical in these areas, but in her state may exhibit these things. Or, she could be. My ex, hpd all the way. Just hold your ground without confrontation. Confident, not angry. That was my mistake and learned to late. However, I am done being a doormat and protecting myself now. Sleep tight pal. We got yer back. Be a great dad. She will resent that too, which is why she made the comment about the kids.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Well now that you have done it. It is a wait and see game. I agree with FM. Hold the ground that you have gained and be consistent. Don't be confrontational.
Consistency and confidence over a long period of time is what WAS look for.
Also, FM is correct be the best Dad ever to your kids and we support you!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Thanks guy, I really feel like Sh!t today. She knows how to get under my skin and make me feel awful. She has total and complete hatred toward me.
This is bothering me soo much, Its really hard to take.. She spews out all these horrible things about me, then turns around can calls OM, all while she's still married. She was texting and is now calling OM. talked to him last night for approx 2 hours until midnight. It makes me sick.
And she has the never to say she wants whats best for her boys, and she trying to be the best mom she can to them
Me: 39 W: 33 M: 9 years T: 10 years S7 S10 BD 10/19/13 W Filed 11/25/13 EA Confirmed 2/2/14 (no evidence of PA) WAW moved out 3/15/14
I forgot to mention. They will throw a temper tantrum to this new behavior in you. This is the beginning of self respect. You will have to do this a few more times. Then they will respect you back. This is when YOU suddenly become attractive.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Guys Im obsessed with checking the phone records. I cannot get this image of My WAW, our Boys, and this DirtBag OM she is so enamored with.
Why am I still hurting. I should be pissed, shouldnt I. Im not mad, Im hurt. I cannot believe, (out of all the people in the world) that my WAW, mother of our children would be putting so much time, attention and focus on this 24 year old Dirt bag.
Guys, I cannot stop snooping the phone records and its killing me. How do I stop?
Me: 39 W: 33 M: 9 years T: 10 years S7 S10 BD 10/19/13 W Filed 11/25/13 EA Confirmed 2/2/14 (no evidence of PA) WAW moved out 3/15/14
Guys, I cannot stop snooping the phone records and its killing me. How do I stop?
You are standing at the stovetop with your hand burning on the burner and you ask us "how do I stop burning my hand?" Do you want to leave your hand on the hot stove or remove it? Your choice.
One, I don't know how to put quotes on here. I am very computer stupid.
Go back and read my post from 2/12/2014 at 7:58 A.M.
I am not saying it will help you. It is what a vet advised me try and I did. It worked for me.
You cant control what W does.
When I feel down about the possibility of my W having a EA/PA.
I go back and read success stories of people who have come back from their partners A and still R and are now in a Better M then before.
I hope this helps a little.
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Guys, I cannot stop snooping the phone records and its killing me. How do I stop?
You know she's engaged in affair, so what information does snooping give you that you don't already have? Once you accept that she is involved in an affair then you need to decide if it's a deal-killer for you or not. If you decide that it's not, then you get busy DB'ing and working on yourself and you leave her to sort out the mess she's made. For me I wanted to snoop to see if there was an affair, finally I just decided to assume the worst, that there was a physical affair taking place. Once I accepted that then it really took away the urge to snoop, there just wasn't a point anymore.
"Why am I still hurting. I should be pissed, shouldnt I. Im not mad, Im hurt. I cannot believe, (out of all the people in the world) that my WAW, mother of our children would be putting so much time, attention and focus on this 24 year old Dirt bag."
I know it's hard brother. I'm feeling your pain right now. Funny you say 24 year old dirtbag(almost 10 years your W's junior), I say 38 year old dirtbag(10 years older than my ex!).
The plus in your sitch is that a 24 year old doesnt want to settle down or at least lacks the emotional maturity for such a thing. It will run its course. Is there a positive for me? A 38 year old wants to settle down(I think). For me the only positive is this 38 year old dirt bag has no clue what's hidden behind her doors. Stuff that took me years to accept and that's because she's the mother of my child.
Good luck man. I'll be watching you to make sure you're ok.
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
