Thanks DX! Eric is bang on. Date went well, I think. Thanks for the well wishes. Went to dinner and then Wolf of Wall Street. We are both big film fans, especially Scorsese films and other quality filmmakers. When I dropped her off she leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lip.....nothing heavy. Last time it was cheek. not sure if I missed an opportunity for a longer kiss, but didn't want to be presumptuous. Sometimes I can be so square. If I didn't know her so well, and so long I would have made a move....weird. (Have known her since high school...over 30 years) . Asked her if she wanted to get out again and she said "For sure" and we smiled. Felt good driving home. Today I get to work on divorce stuff....oh yay. My d11 and d15 went to their mom's yesterday afternoon. I get them back Wednesday. I miss them already.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Glad to hear that the date went well. Be careful dude. I made the mistake of jumping in too soon (interesting enough with someone I knew for a long time).
Take your time. My advice would be to wait until the D process is done. Then give yourself a little time to heal.
So any more news on the D front?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Bad day as L's battling it out. Clearly driven by my exW and being unreasonable. Fair is not good enough. I am standing my ground. 20 years of being pushed around....no more. She is even more angry as she is not getting her way. My exW wants the world and then some. Does not seem to be going her way but does not eliminate the stress of it all anyway. Still months of battle. So stupid. Protecting myself is apparently a sin in her eyes. Equity nor good enough. Sorry exW but we are not married anymore...you cannot run me any longer. Nor do you have right to spend my money and drive me into debt again.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
This may NOT be the case. It could be the L's just racking up more legal fees. Try to let go of the anger towards your STBXW. It is hard but so worth it.
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I am standing my ground. 20 years of being pushed around....no more.
I get this....but as I mentioned before, let go of the anger.
Consider what you are fighting for and the cost of the fight....
For example: Me and my xw were arguing through the attnys about who get the new washing machine. Luckly it was my attny who pointed out..."is it worth it Eric"...You are going spend 2,000 arguing for a washing machine that is only worth 1k.
My point, is if you are trying to do this while totally pissed off - all you can see is..."no more - I will win THIS ONE battle". Is this the battle that you really want to win?
Quote:
Does not seem to be going her way but does not eliminate the stress of it all anyway. Still months of battle. So stupid. Protecting myself is apparently a sin in her eyes.
Chances are it will never be enough. Let the L deal with it. Provide clear direction i.e. I will settle for this or that no more, no less. As long as the L agrees with what you are asking for - then you should be okay.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Well, for the second time in 2 months she has fought for a vacation with the kids and has again now just cancelled on them. They came to my place today and told me their mom told them last night. They are so disappointed. She is just a piece of work. Promises, never delivers.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I hope you know that their is nothing you can do to change her. Continue to be their for the kids. Maybe you can take them on vacation or a long weekend.
Peace, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Nope. Definitely cannot change her. It is sad and maddening at the same time. Would love to get away. Soonest I can now is end April or early May. I will take them to the Caribbean. I took d11 for counselling tonight. Debriefed with counsellor. Counsellor let me know ex has now agreed to do her own counselling. That's a good thing.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. You are all appreciated and loved.
FloydMan
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Happy Valentine's Day Floydman and all here! Thanks for sharing this difficult time together - what a support! Treat yourselves with/without kids to a nice dinner, like I will. I Love you all!
M 20 yrs me 47 H 51 s11 d8
BD 10/8/13 H Moved out 11/30/13 OW slept over with children Dec '13 OW moved in w/H Jan '14
