Relationships start out as friendship and if you are lucky, some of them go on to be more loving and permanent relationships. With the mlcer you have to go dark/dim for you, not to punish the person in crisis. Even being dim, you can still treat them in a friendly manner. Many of them don't want to be friends, but that doesn't mean you can be friendly, even while you are biting your tongue over what they've said or done.
Keep in mind, Dr. Gray is writing about people who are not experiencing a crisis. There is no right or wrong way to deal w/a mlcer. If something doesn't work, try something different. Don't be afraid to do this.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
