Dear sandi2, MLC25, Mr. Bond, Wonka, gm23, Brahmin, everyone,
There are good things in all this darkness, and I want to thank you all again. Meeting you all, be it in person or online, and your advice, has been helpful and wonderful, and I appreciate your taking the time. Finding EE, in all its good, strong, wild, real, beauty, being given a chance to do it again (though the way to it is through divorce; like my sister said "look at it as an opportunity"), and the friends I have through it - and giving my d love - all this I am profoundly grateful for.
If you are ever in Sweden...
Last night:
I slept upstairs. W hears me lay down (the door between the rooms was open), comes in and asks "are you sleeping here?", me: "yes", W: "humph". Two minutes later she comes in via the other door, turns on the light and says "you are getting out of my life, I can't stand living with you, it is hideous, your passive resistance, we are selling this house as soon as possible, etc."
The "passive resistance" part was interesting, and I think points to her wanting real, open, conflict.
I just acknowledged her feelings with "I am sorry you feel that way", and actually felt detached from her words. Que sera, sera.
I then had an odd, only half restful night, in spite of jet lag and sleeping pill. Had I just played a zero sum game? Was sleeping upstairs worth the BD it provoked? (I think so, as it appears the M is over, so why not sleep there?)
Also had a nice little time with d15, who was making a kazoo in jello (Dwight's prank) for school last night. I just hung around the kitchen talking with her during this, very nice.
This morning d15 came into my office, asking small things - I gave her a few quick rubs. She then knocked on the window and waved goodbye when leaving (doctor's appt). Yes, there is a connection there. She even seemed to like my idea that she and I go skiing over sports break here (if she is as hungry for my company as I am for hers, then I am truly blessed).
I am sorry this upset you, sandi. Your dad sounds like a good, loving, man.
***
Maybe eight years ago the (then state-run) pharmacy here had a poster in the window saying how important human touch and sex are (how very Swedish...). I scoffed at this then, little knowing ...
***
New twist - son may be coming home with new girlfriend in April. Maybe I need to invite her along to Italy also? I do very much enjoy just he and I being together.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
