I've been reading this forum for the past two months and decided to post an update on my situation and make sure I'm doing the right things.
12/2013 found out W was having EA with groomsman. I confronted both with the love letter and spied like crazy at text messages. Found out he continued to text and call and she snuck out to talk to him on phone. Forced her to move out with her family a week before we relocated. Relocated and two days later found through phone bills they heavily communicated after she left her family's house (who was informed of the situation and forbided her to talk to him and continue her mistakes). Confronted her of phone bill, she lied about the true reasons. Family found out she was lying about everything and threatened to turn their backs on her if she continued to lie to them. She told them about every time they met up (he lives 4.5 hours away and still snuck out here.) 1/2014 A week later said she wanted one of us to move out. For financial reasons, I moved and immediately consulted a lawyer. Filed for divorce and separation agreement to protect my business. Had multiple conversations where she cried profusely and said she was a horrible person. I comforted her but continued with moving out. Had a few connections and flirty moments but no sex. Talked civilly. Found out her mom told her the realities of a R with him and the situation she is in. (Did I mention he's married to my cousin and two 12 girls and is 12 years older than my W (22 y/o). This was the time of her cries and realizations. Found out her mom told her if he was divorced and she was divorced would be the only way she'd consider supporting it. My family starts getting suspicious that they are ignoring all calls and texts and my immediate family knows my W and I are "having problems" but nothing of the EA, especially with it being with my cousins H. 2/2014 W attitude getting worse towards me. I paid the OM a visit and he sped off. Would've hit him if I had the chance, but wanted to sit down with OM and his W to expose the lies. He told W and she got even more angry. Called me like 30 times. I ignored most until I snapped and screamed at her for having the EA. Then ignored all calls and texts afterwards. Met up to get more stuff out of her apartment three days later. Talked civilly and she asked "how could I let this happen, why didn't I threaten to leave if she continued". I responded with because I completely trusted she wouldn't let this happen. No talking in about a week, but I was sending emails to OM, last one about his height (5'6") and age difference (12 yrs). W called me and said he screenshotted her the email, threatened to burn my business down, said she's going to stop this game I'm playing, and blamed me for the entire D and EA. Then took a picture of my business and tried to call. I ignored both. Her mom told me she was in contact with OM's W and *surprise, surprise*, OM threatened W to not contact any family so they can "work things out". My W refuses to believe her mom despite seeing the text messages. Two days later, thought about texting W about my disapproval of her changes. Turning into the type of person she originally hated because of OM. Decided not to because of "Do not beg, plead, chase, implore..." Now I am going to rent a truck to grab the rest of my things from the apartment and I need to talk to W and may have to talk to her then. I'm afraid I will try to plead with her by saying I want nothing to do with the person she's become. Then also considered if she wanted to blame me for it, turning it around by saying "I take partial blame for your feelings, but not your actions. You had choices to make and you chose to stray." Any thoughts on doing the right or wrong steps? Continue with moving forward and past my R? I'm trying to determine if it is even salvageable or if I even want to try to salvage it.
