Sad times

[paul19510]

Thank you Paul. I'm trying to take steps to GAL, I think not doing it sooner part of the reason I'm in this situation.

Artsy and Paul, I will tell him soon, but everytime I picture what I'm going to say, it is not as calm and rational as I would like it to be. When my H called me on the phone 3 weeks ago to tell me he wanted a D, he had already gone to a lawyer. He emailed me a few days later about having mediation to save us money, he has since retained a lawyer using some of that money. He also payed down 11.5 in credit card debt (from a card that is in his name only) from that money.

I have gone to a lawyer who said that there really was not much I could do unless I filed for D and that would put a "stay" on all accounts. I jut don't want to file because I don't want the D, and I don't want to have to pay for filing.

The stealing/hording of the money is making it hard for me to address getting to a place of decent communication with my H. The person I trusted most is leaving me in a very bad financial situation. I am still trying to address my issues that lead to this, I hope the IC will help with that.

I know you are in a strange new place but trust me (M and Artsy chime in here) you're in good company. You sound like this really took the "wind out of your sails". I can feel your emotions very clearly through your words. Its going to be ok. Whatever happens, you'll handle it. Remember that.

Also, it takes two to be married and unless there's something really crazy going on, it takes two to kill a M. Please do not think that you own all of this; You don't. It's just that you can't control whether or not you H does anything about his side of the street. Just work on your stuff (that's not the same as shouldering the entire blame for the marriage).

The benefit of working on you is that YOU FEEL BETTER. he might never notice but I guarantee you will