Limbo is the new normal

[slow_it_down]

My H rushed out and got a lawyer after I brought up my concerns about our son. Allegedly paperwork has been filed. I have the oddest sense of calm while he's gearing up for our custody mediation like he's going into a boxing match. I've never been more happy to have kept my side of the street clean through all of this.

I spoke to a lawyer so I have a good idea what to expect and what my rights are. I think having a plan and not getting dragged into arguments is making it easy to just enjoy the time I have with my kids now rather than stressing about what the court process will look like. My H is acting like I'm out to get him and has really escalated the situation so I'm really focusing on validating what he says but not getting caught up in things.

On the positive my H has been spending dedicated time giving our son his full undivided attention. It's what I always wanted with the caveat being that my H hates my guts and we don't speak while he's here.

In the meantime I signed me and my 9 year old up to take snowboarding lessons. I'm going to be a disaster on the slopes but it sounds fun and I'm really looking forward to trying something new.

I don't feel like I'm in DB mode, just that I'm living my life and using the skills I built over the past few months. Patience, patience, patience.

I think this is the first time in 18 months I haven't felt alone in bed at night despite having the whole thing to myself. It's an interesting place to be in.