Sex-Starved??? That's an understatement!

[melissag]

LFC, I read your initial post a few days ago, so forgive me if I mess up some of the details. This right here:

Right now i'm trying to be the best man I can possibly be regardless.

is what you need to be doing.

Forget about how much of the blame belongs to your W. Yes, it takes two people to wreck a M, but you are the only one of the two who is here trying to fix things.

As a W who was in a SSM, I can tell you that your W most likely withheld sex because her emotional needs were not being met, and she did not feel emotionally safe in the M. Did she tell you what the problem was? Did you hear the same complaints come up again and again?

Nobody knows whether it is too late to save your M.

Honestly, I am sometimes amazed following the threads on this board, which Ms have a chance for R, and which don't. There really is no signal that will tell you where you will end up.

That's why you need to focus on you - look at yourself, I mean REALLY look at yourself in the mirror, and change what you need to, for YOU. Not for her, but for you to be the person you want to be. Most of us realize that somewhere along the way, we became someone other than ourselves, and/or we realize that some parts of ourselves are not really who we want to be.

Also, I want to say that I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling. It's no fun at all being an LBS, especially after some years of rough times, and wanting to work things out when the other doesn't.

Keep posting, and hang in there.