[BrightFuture]

OK, the previous tread locked. Here is the link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2420249&page=11

Could not come up with a new thread name, so here it goes again.

Bringing these from the last thread.

Bright, I don't hear you being a doormat. But, I do hear you having a hard time detaching still. You seem very concerned about doing, saying, emailing, texting, etc...in a such a way that he will "run back into the rabbit hole."

I only hear it because I've been there so many times myself. Relax. Be the awesome, fabulous YOU and let it go. Turn it over to God.

You will drive yourself crazy trying so hard. I've been there.

Heather, you are right, I’m not detached yet. I still have ways to go to fully detach though. But, I feel a lot better these days and I’m not that concerned about what he is doing. Yes, certain things bother me, but I don’t lose my sleep over them. I’m not trying that hard, but I do want to do the right things and I don’t want to lose an opportunity if one presents itself. With the limited contact (even thought lately it has been more frequent) I only have so many chances to do the things right. I don’t know if it makes sense. I do tend to over think thought. You are right about it.

Bright,
You are not a door mat by any means. You are a very kind and caring individual who is trying to do the right thing.

If you haven't texted him about the sand bags, then wait a while longer to see if he mentions them. They aren't something of an urgent nature, so sit on them for a bit.

Please do not be afraid to try different things. There's no right or wrong way to deal w/someone in crisis...you just have to try different things until the right key clicks in the lock.

Please do not try to second guess yourself. Okay?

Thanks, Job. This is exactly what I need to do, to try new things. I’ve been afraid to do it all this time. I just don’t know what these new things might be. I’ve done this no-reply approach before. Sometimes I didn’t even acknowledge his e-mails, when there was no answer required. It didn’t seem have any difference back then. I feel that the situation is somewhat changed. He’s been in more contact recently, with more elaborate e-mails and phone calls. I’m still trying to figure out how to react.

I still haven’t told him about the package. The thoughts of his reasons for not telling me about it and not asking about it keep running through my head. I need to stop this.