melissa - gotta get back to me

[melissag]

Ad, thank you. Lots of good stuff there. Nodding my head in agreement because it makes sense intellectually, just need to get my emotions on board.

As much as I am going to miss my kids this weekend, and I am sad that I will miss out on their snowy adventures, I think maybe it's good timing for me to have a little time away from my H and my sitch.

I hope I can use the time to mull some stuff over, get my head straight, and take care of me a little, so I can be recharged and know my path going forward.

What I need to figure out is how to go through this process trying to negotiate without lawyers being involved in every second of the process. For two reasons: (1) the money (let's not forget, I am the one who will be getting screwed here); and (2) I don't like other people making my decisions for me. I want to make sure that I am getting at least what I am entitled to, but I don't want to have two strangers talking about and deciding MY life and that of my children.

And Ad, you're right about the marbles. I just got an email from my H. It was about "our" finances. He told me about some expenses and what he has coming in, and about the quarterly tax payment we will need to make in April.

Then he said,

I hope your class went well yesterday. I don't want to be antagonistic about this at all. I still do care about you, you know. It's becoming clear to me that you don't trust me and I'm sorry for what I did to deserve that. I hope we can figure all this stuff out.

auuugggghhhhh.