Sex-Starved??? That's an understatement!

[LFC1170]

WOW! I am being totally misunderstood here and when I reread what I wrote I can see how what I said was misconstrued.

The truth is I don't find her behaviors disgusting...farrrrr from it. I'm not being judgmental. I'm just saying when she was in the m she would be so conservative that what she is doing now, and it only started after she asked for D and not the entire 11 years, would not even be a part of my most wild imagination. I don't condemn her, its just I wish she was doing this for me instead of feeling she had to do this in secret. It was my failure as a husband to not have made her feel sexy about herself more, not that I failed keeping her a conservative christian woman. I could care less about that. If I would have said something in that bedroom she would have been embarrassed and mortified, it would not have been appreciated and probably would've made things worse, so I kept to myself. Fact is the way she is now turns me on MORE than before and its tragic that there is nothing I can do about it. I agree she is trying to be sexy for someone.

You know, even though I was angry, hurt, depressed, and irritable, when ever I snapped at my wife (because I was feeling bitter and resentful especially because she acted numb to the problems we had) I thought I was being respectful by never calling her names, or doubting her intelligence, or intentionally saying hurtful things. What I learned is the way I questioned and my tone of voice said the same things I didn't say with actual words.

I know my w hurt and pain is legitimate. I caused it. I don't deny that. Just as my hurt and pain is legitimate and my reactions to that were normal. She just denies her role in it.

What i'm doing now is employing the LRT. Trying to become detached. Any attempt by me flirting (I have) or complimenting or listening (my 180 because I was cold and angry) have been met with hohumness. I understand this is part of the process. Everyone around me that knows the situation says i'm just wasting my time and that things went on as they are for far too long.

Right now i'm trying to be the best man I can possibly be regardless.