Sex-Starved??? That's an understatement!

[25yearsmlc]

I think she's going through a MLC.

Maybe yes, maybe no. But the SSM has been going on for a decade. I hardly think all of this is new or "different from" before.

But what difference does it make? Seriously.

Don't spend time on diagnosing her, when you could spend that time on Your own work, which is the only thing you have any control over.



She uses terms from the 80's. She adopted a new personality that combines everything that bothered her about mine. She curses alot. She's yelling and screaming at my son.

Just curious. Every single time you have referred to your son, you have used the terms "My son". To be clear, your son IS her biological child, too, right?


She never used to drink, now she buys beer for the house. I don't drink. She goes out with her friends who are 20 and 30 somethings. She calls me DUDE which I HATE! It's so impersonal. When we're home together she stays in the bedroom and doesn't come out.

Here^^^, I crossed out the parts of her behavior that you do Not control...which, if you notice, is ALL of it.


Yesterday I went to ask her something in the bedroom and when I opened the door I found her on the bed on her knees acting out some kind of fantasy in very sexy underwear she bought herself. Grinding and caressing her body while singing some sexy songs and looking in the mirror. The music was so loud she didn't even notice me. I closed the door to not interrupt her but all I felt was sadness. This woman was making herself feel sexy when it should have been my job as a husband to help her feel that way as much as possible.


You just left her like that? Why not compliment her? Yes, I mean that.

B/C Here, you sound really judgmental and if I were your w, that would humiliate me as much as not having sex for 10 years. Clearly she DOES have libido. And she wants to be sexy...for someone.

But instead of flirting with her (do you do that at all?) or enjoying her "show", you left in disgust or revulsion or "sadness"...

I think it could have been an opportunity for you to do something new, something different.

I only "know" one thing for sure here.

Your wife will Not return to the m, UNLESS

she believes marriage to you can be better/different than before.

What are you Doing to show that? (Not saying, but Doing)?


I failed. This is an upstanding Christian woman who, when we were together I thought, would in no way take part in the behaviors i'm witnessing now.

"Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

Wow...."upstanding Christian woman"....but she LIKES sex??

I hear some Big judgements here^^^....compounding the tragedy of it all. You say you should have been the one to make her feel sexy but here you condemn the very behavior she is engaging in, TO MAKE HERSELF FEEL SEXY...

Do you now see anything you could have done differently in this^^ exchange?

If she is so disgusting to you, or her behavior is, maybe it's best to just give up...

or is there something, anything, YOU can do now to help her?