She left - My Story, First Post

[25yearsmlc]

Where I am confused is that she is a WAW and the book says I should be doing the LRT.


SLOW DOWN. Take a breath. Now, do that again, the breath thing. You need to process this more.

This approach to marriages in crisis, is based on the philosophy and books of MWD. But it's Not a code book or "Book of laws and regulations".

Nor is the "diagnosis" of your wife, (summing her up in an acronym) necessarily accurate or correct OR unchangeable.

Most people do not fit neatly into these boxes that we create. Most people change.

Oh sure, We tell ourselves that our spouse is "textbook" 'MLCer' or "WAW", b/c we want to simplify things.

We so crave clarity that we sometimes decree things that are simply NOT that clear cut.

Nor is the book to be "obeyed." Don't be mindlessly compliant. Make sure the words apply to your situation and be flexible and open about being wrong. OR about her changing and evolving and you too....evolve, grow.

CHANGE...it's the one constant in a healthy person....Changing, growing, evolving.


When reading and identifying 180s I need to do, having a sausage making night with her family would cover a lot of the issues we have had in the past.

The sausage making MAYBE should be as you suggest. But please know this.

NO single gesture and No one sentence, is going to fix this. Or "Cover a lot of issues".

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Do you understand the meaning of that sentence?

I just don't know if LRT is correct or not when I was basically shut down and ignoring her needs and wants for the past 5 months.

I know that asking about/planning the event would fall into pursuing which also violates LRT.

Just confused about my plan of attack when a 180 goes against LRT.

Maybe you can list here what you think YOU need to do (as in, 180s).

Then tell us what the 180 is supposed to demonstrate (more time with family, for instance).

Then tell us what SHE has said or done, in reaction to your efforts, thus far.

Then maybe we can better assist you.