Thanks Lois - I want to try and address things - I really do. I am trying to register that WAPs actions are his and his alone - despite the projection and blame he is levelling at me - I know that this is his crisis - MLC or something far deeper. I also know rationally that OW is a bandaid. But it is SO PAINFUL. Its just that in my sad moments - in the moments when the pain is great - I blame myself. Could I have done more? Could I have been more loving. Maybe although I do believe I tried my best..... I think I am also finding no contact hard and, because of the way that all of this has transpired - there seems no real closure - at least on my side. I think I would have felt more closure if I had spoken to him at some point. At this point of time I miss him - or at least the person who I thought was my partner. Now he seems like an alien who has deleted us... x
