Great advice so far. Because everyone's situation is different, I think it depends on where you are in the process. I agree; if the WAS is still running / checked out / S from you, probably best to leave it alone. This is the approach I would take.
Mine is still at home and we are working together in MC/IC, but still can't apply any pressure. I was a little torn myself because I just don't miss holidays & birthdays; just not my style. After showing Sandi's list to our therapist in IC, she recommended I not take away #8 & #9 anyway since these are things my wife still enjoys with / from me. Therapist agreed with every other rule and she hits me with the virtual 2x4 when I screw up!
Wife had already shown some interest in a Valentine's dinner locally so we are going to that and maybe a movie after. Additionally, my wife likes to give & receive gifts (definitely her secondary LL at a minimum). I always get her a little something so this year, I just got her a bouquet of Orchids & Lilly's (her favorite) and all the card reads is "Happy V Day from Az". No ILY; no mushy note or anything else. Very simple; something a "friend" would give!
Azagtoth
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
