So here are some changes, "not in a bad way", since last post...
I have dimmed down a bit. No freakin' puppy here. I know she can tell when I am observing, looking for something too much. So I haven't. And it hasn't been too difficult with all the work I have going on, people calling in sick, etc. And band practice and learning the songs in between. I am wiped when I get home so no head space for watching too much. Thankfully.
However, there are a couple few things that jump out...
--She called me and has been shredding a bunch of old stuff and she found bank statements from the past 5-6 year's from before I went online only in 2012.
She said she was just floored by what she spent, saying "what was I thinking?" And that it really wasn't all me like she has told herself, in a lot of things.
She thanked me again for taking on all the responsibility and keeping everything together through "all this", how strong I was and am....
--She is cleaning and organizing, de-cluttering like crazy...I heard her going through notes and journal entries...the whir of the shredder filling the house..."omg" shred, "crazy", shred , etc from the other room. And things from then are disappearing into donation bags (I am assuming that one there, benefit of the doubt and all, lol).
--Oh, and tonight she moved off the couch and into S3's room to sleep, kind of the reverse of moving out of the MBR into S3's room, then the living room so long ago. The LR is looking like it might be open to everyone soon, again.
--I swear she is looking at me differently, something there has changed, but who knows. Maybe I am just over-tired.
--Her vocal tone and demeanor has changed, I hear a lot of the inner W again. I like talking to her on the phone again. Not as stressful, more balanced sounding.
Just interesting as heck to me, but I am still in same spot and mode. Still dimmer for now. Still on my plan.
I've seen cycles like this before, so, shields up, but open...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
