She left - My Story, First Post

[gogofo]

The more I read DR I see my situation differently. Just went back and reviewed Chapter 5 and I don't know if I should be doing LRT or not.

I know what broke us was my stress and commitment to work, her changing job and Doctoral studies, possible mild MLC for W, and the loss of time we had for each other. During the last 5 months we were together I was broken emotionally and spiritually and she was reaching out to me for love and support but I did not see it. I hated myself.

During Thanksgiving weekend I was basically paralized by stress. She kept asking me to do something but I felt trapped by my job and could not go or do anything, basically on call or at work from 18 hours a day 7 days a week. It was a bad project. I told her in anger and depression "I was like this before you married me and this is how I am and will be" or something to the like. I do not remember this incident or my remarks. All I remember is she said if I was not comfortable at home maybe I should go to work. She then said that when the door closed something broke inside of her.

I feel completely different, have a bounce in my step, and find myself being upbeat and optimistic again. All while in the middle of the S. The S has also knocked a ton of sense into me and showed me instantly what is important to me.

Her mom and dad moved 40 miles North of us and we do not see them as much as we had earlier in our R, and she does not see them as much as she wishes. There were multiple times off and on over the R where I was not enjoying myself when visiting her family or I would say that we needed to be home instead of staying the night and enjoying ourselves. I realize now how dumb I was, but the last year and a half I was better when visiting.

If we were not S, I would plan on hauling all of the stuff to make sausages out to their house, make them as a family, and then cook some for dinner.

Sausage making was a tradition in her family. We are both from mainly European decent and it is very important to us. We have had multiple talks on how sad it is that traditions have been lost in our families.

My father grew up making wine and other traditional Italian foods in his family. Her father is Basque and moved from Spain to the US when he was 17, so she grew up making sausages and other traditional foods. We both want to create and continue some of these traditions.