At some point towards the end of September i did a bit of backsliding in the form of arguing with my wife. I accused her of making stuff up. She responded by saying that perhaps we should put everything in writing so there was not any further confusion. Unfortunately, not everything we have discussed since has been put in writing. I do have all of the text conversations saved though. The up side is that i can go back and review what has been said. I thought it might be useful to post some examples here. Please let me know what you think.
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10th September, 2013

me: Hey there. The rent is due. I have no money to pay it. Sorry. (i realise now i should rather have said i have not ALL of the money - $5,400)

w: i guess you'll have to move out then smile

me: Nice smiley....
Are you really asking me to move out?

w: I did, 12 months ago....but hardly a topic for txt conversation! I got sk8 school & then show rehearsal til 8...c u after that smile

me: You love texting this stuff when it suits you! And you never did ask me to move out....i suggested it once. I will take your text as a yes then?

w: maybe we should....that way there's a record of what gets said! & I would rather not have it brought up when [son, 18]'s less than a week from his exams..... :p

me: Why do you think I texted you? Don't bring [son, 18] into this....they all have had to deal with this....for a long time....

w: idk why you would choose now though.... smirk

me: It is becoming clear that you are not batting straight....even though you claim to be an open book. That is one reason.



30th October, 2013

me: Good morning! :-) :-D


w: if you could find a way to deposit rent into my account...I would be grateful....
(Background: After our text discussion above where i mentioned not having the money for rent, w took it upon herself to pay it. I went with my bank cheque of $3600 the next day to pay at least what i had. *Something* urged me to ask the receptionist before i handed the cheque over, to ask if any rent had been paid recently. Why yes! $5,400 had been paid yesterday....i kept my cheque for a later day. I discussed this with my wife when i got home that night and gave her the cheque. She threw it back at me saying it was useless to her. I left the cheque on the bench.)

me: I believe we have already discussed this. Perhaps I will just give the bank cheque to [real estate agency]. All above board that way.

w: no...it's not right...I am out of pocket & I shouldn't be!

me: As am I....badly.

w: you paying the rent covers your half of the rent plus child support ....me paying puts you in debt & me not getting any support financially from you...

me: Meh



18/12/2013

w: for the sake of the children, I am putting an end to this..either you move out or we will....

me: :-( that is horrible.

w: yes it is....but it's not healthy for any of us to keep living like this....

me: Your imagination....


w: no...our reality....stop being delusional....


me: By "our" I take it to mean you and your other personalities that you talk to because you sure don't talk to me about your realities...just head in the sand stuff from you and then these occasional text outbursts. And you call me delusional? At least I am prepared to be open to face to face discussion...unlike your snipes by text and non verbal bullying of me out of the house...


w: my reality is that you don't support me when I need it most, you're unavailable for the kids, you haven't contributed financially for months....& you have heard all that before. simple!


me: Not so simple. You don't talk to me...you brood, snipe. I want so badly to make a difference and help.
Basically, I don't agree with what you are saying...why do you have to resort to these text conversations when what we really need is to communicate in person....regularly.....you never ask for help....i am expected to "know" what is required....that sounds delusional. Certainly not the way I would like to communicate. Give me a fair go.



w: I am not your mother...
grow up!


me: See what you did there?


w: I suggested you acquire some emotional intelligence....because i am not responsible for you....

me: Then why are you trying to run my life?

w: you have had decades of a fair go.....my fair go time is now


me: Revisionist rubbish...deluded self talk...


w: meh


me: You know out is true though...yes I am angry and usually don't lower myself to respond to this rubbish but you are simply wrong to try this guilt trip stuff on me. Why can't you try and get along? Too childish?

w: yes, you are....trapping me is not love....


To be continued next post...


Me: 49
W: 47
M: 19 T: 25
Son:19
Dau:13
Son:6
BD: Aug: 2012
Separated - same house: May, 2013
Ultimatum to move out: Dec 2013
W looking to move out: January 2014
Dau says go, I move out: June 2014