Won't stop affair. Want divorce now.

[ericmsant2]

Lost

Yes I think I made some mistake

Remove “think” – you did make mistake – now just own them and forgive yourself.

I saw some stuff but never address the problem.

Why didn’t you address or discuss them? Think hard before you respond. Look deeper than the basic…”it was easier response”.

I think that was my fought for not seeking help or addressing the issue.

BOTH of YOUR faults – not just yours. Own your role in it not hers. YOU did not put a gun to her head to have her contact her ex fiancé. She did that on her own.

Once again I ignore that and refused to address the issue thinking we can't do wrong. I ignore all the changes. Never made mention of it or talked about it.

Similar to the above…why did you ignore it? There was a reason to it. Think really hard about it. Look in the mirror and ask yourself the question…why? You may not like the answer but that is really the start of 1) finding the root issue and 2) ripping out the root and finally starting to address it. Don’t be afraid Lost..it may hurt…for a short period of time..but you will be better for it.

she called me a mess on several occasion, not necessarily because of my look but because I've properties everywhere. I own couple of investment properties.

How often and when was the last time? FTR, I have one and I have to say…I hate being a landlord. S*cks!

In most cases I don't listen. I still do me by working with this tenants. She was right. Why will I allow people to take advantage of me like that.

Hmmmm….see a pattern here Lost? “Take advantage of me”. Why do you think people do that? Do you feel people take advantage of you? Do you love yourself? Oh…and she was not “right” per se. At the end of the day, everyone has be comfortable with the choices that they make for themselves. If deep down inside you really felt like owning the investment properties was something that you wanted to do for yourself – that is oky. My point, is right now, you need to be careful not to take everything that she says to you as gospel.

I blame the housing market for not able to sell. To be honest, I never made any effort. I bought them for retirement and wasn't willing to let go.

Why did you just not tell her that they are for your retirement? Once again, look inside – do you see a pattern? Oh…and chances are you probably could not have dumped them – the market although coming back is still a buyers market.

I think i also gave up on me

Why? IMO, I believe the answer to this question is the really the BIGGEST issue you have.

I stopped biking and going to the gym. I eat a lot and gain few pounds.

Sounds like you were depressed. Were you? If so, why? Do you have a history of depression.

I know now that money doesn't buy happiness and love.

Yet your actions….kept doing the same thing. Maybe because it was all that you knew?

Do you think I should still communicate with after telling me our marriage is over for now?

IMO, no. I would only communicate about your daughter. You first step right now is to really work on YOU. Right now you are not in a position to really have a healthy discussion with her. You are still way too emotional.

She said she's not in a rush to file but not willing to work on our marriage

At some point you will realize that YOU say when this is over. Not her!

I'm also arranging to go to Disney land with my daughter next month. I bought the airline ticket this afternoon and looking on PL for some deals on hotel.

This is GREAT! Have a great time.

pls don't give up on me

I am not the one you need to worry about. It’s YOU. Do not quit on YOURSELF!

Look man, I am sorry about your sister. Right now you have a lot on your plate. You are pissed that she told your family. Okay I get it..now get over it and get back to focusing on YOU.
Lost – right now….she is all about herself. You think she is doing stuff to YOU. Sorry but you probably do not matter right now. Accept that. It does not mean the M is over. F*ck do you know how many people on these boards have been told the M is over. Bradley11 wife told him several times. It is over when YOU say it is over.

Your really pisssed off right now…it might be a good time to go for a run, or a walk.

Turn off you phone, turn off your computer and just relax. Instead of focusng on her…spend some time asking yourself the really hard questions…

Does Lost love himself….

Does lost want to fix himself and become a kick as* dude again…

Right now…honestly – F her. It is about YOU lost. It is about YOU.

So are you ready to do the work now?

Ready to become that man that she just may come running back to…

You know how to reach me..

Peace,
Eric