I'm in, wife's out

[nit84]

trc,

Once you read the books it will help you see what you need to do. MrBond is correct when he says there are no shortcuts and You must have patience.

I have no children my W lost her job two weeks after we S and still does not have one. IMHO she not looking too hard either. As soon as she told me she lost her job I figured it was just a matter of time till she came back. Wrong!! My biggest mistake was expectations. I didn't stop IMC but I slowed my process of GAL and detaching. This set me back a few months in my process. Once I joined here. I straightened myself out somewhat in regards to expectations and still have a long way to go but I don't feel that hopeless feeling anymore.

She still wants out though. That could change tomorrow, next week, or next year. I have learned that you cant predict what your WAS will say or do. They will say things and find fault in everything you do. This is a way of justifying their decision to walk away. You need to worry about your kids and yourself right now.

They find anybody who will listen to them and empathize with them. These people will enable the WAS to feel like they are making the right decision

It will drive you insane trying to keep up with their changing emotions. Detach and let it go