W was unfriendly Sunday. On Monday I managed to ask her how her day was ("long") and then left her alone, and tonight she actually ate dinner with d and I, describing how she had been filmed at work, by a moving camera on a dolly, of which she seemed proud. I am happy for her - perhaps there is an element of MLC involved here also. So she seems to be loosening up a little.
Hi Luke,
Just wanted to reply to that^^. LL, you & your wife's situation has been going on for the past 10 years. (Ten years)...
Now, please, Take that ^^^ sentence, and the YEARS of living without affection or intimacy from your w, and fewer & fewer words of kindness, no touching, morphing into open contempt and tension and hostility in your home and surrounding your children when they are around you and your w...TEN years...
No, I do not think an "MLC" is what has happened with your w. By definition it should be called something else, due to sheer duration...
If she is now entering one, it doesn't change a thing at your end unless she abuses you even more, which would only speed things up for you. After 10 years, using the term "Speed" is a loose use of the word.
From where I'm sitting, It looks like grasping at straws or hoping there is a reason to believe she is going to sua sponte, wake up, go way back into your m history, and want back in the M in a totally fun loving affection filled way, w/ intimacy and deep communications and.....and....and...
Luke, when you see this^^^ in print, how does it make you see your situation?
Are you still thinking she is going to want something like this^^^ with you?
Would It be a m your kids have ever seen?
When I think of what your kids could learn from you and a loving OW in your life, it so dramatically contrasts with what you have w/your w, I can only believe they'd benefit a lot. Unless it's too late, which I hope isn't the case.
More to say on your post, but I lack the time to do it justice atm. I just had to comment about that term "MLC" in this situation.
I know her moods should not affect me, and after rereading MLC25's advice to others, will try and go for a hike this weekend (there is hardly any snow here) with some others, and work more on GAL, focusing on with others. Maybe d15 and I can do something also, which would be very nice. Good idea! Pretty soon you need to have a REAL talk with your d. Discuss the whole situation from HER POV and see what she thinks she needs.
Though what she says may be what she really thinks, that still won't make it be true. Just Evaluate her words with a grain of salt, and a ton of empathy.
I ran into the grandmother of a friend of d15, who said it would not work out with them to go skiing and use their hut, so something was being worked on there. Perhaps I should suggest that d and w go to someplace sunnier, take the weather pressure off, as it were. They both have the Swedish sports break week coming up.
I will need to travel for work again in the next weeks, but just within Europe.
Luke
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
