Taking the eye off the ball is one of the hardest things to do from what I've found so far. Especially in todays age of social media, cell phones, etc. It's hard to tell myself to keep cool.
Believe me, *none* of this is easy. It's the hardest thing that most people will ever go through, but you have no choice. It's hard if you stay and hard if you leave, so you just have to do the best you can.
The best advice I got was that you want to look back on this phase of your life and have no regrets -- you did everything you could to save your marriage until you determined that you did not want to save it, then you went forward with class and dignity.
That means you have to dig deep, you have to be prepared to do all the work yourself, and expect nothing at all from W. You have to practice incredible self-control and self-restraint, learn to self-soothe, and get comfortable going against your intuitions and instead giving space when you want to pursue, remaining quiet when you want to argue or provoke, etc.
You *will* come out of this a better person, with improved relationship skills, and although it's hard to have this perspective right now, those things are truly a gift.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
